Realizations
by watevr i want
Summary: What if Olivia was the captain of SVU and Alex was an EADA when life thew them a screw ball no one was expecting? What if Olivia was shot on the court house steps? Alex centric A/O with a lot of characters including Serena, Abbie, Casey, Elizabeth, Petrovsky, and Munch.


A soft voice laced with pain and yearning floated to Amanda Rollin's ears as she stood at the nurses station in the cold sterile hospital. The detective listened as she walked toward the beautiful voice, stopping in familiar door to her colleagues room. Surprised that the song seemed to be emanating from Olivia's room she watched quietly, through the crack in the door, as a the woman facing away from her sang.

"... Cause sometimes it seems like this world is closing in on me and there is no way of breaking free

And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up, wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight

And then I see you baby and everything's alright

Everything's alright

When I see you smile

I can face the world

You know I can do anything

When I see you smile

See your ray of light

See it shining right through the rain

When I see you smile

Baby when I see you smile at me..."

As the last notes faded away Amanda was startled from her reverie by the familiar voice of the singers god mother, "You should have heard her sing with her mother. It was magical."

"Judge Donnelly, what do you think she meant by that?"

"She always said that that would be the described how she felt about someone she was truly in love with. So I would venture to guess that what she meant by that is that she is irrefutably in love with Detective Benson." Elizabeth walked silently in to the room stopping by the no longer singing woman only to nearly drop off the bag she was holding and leave, slipping a note into Rollin's hand. Ever a curious person she unfolded the note from Elizabeth's unfamiliar script she read, "Tell your ADA before you two end up like them with one of you laying in one of those beds and the other standing there crying. Ps don't do like Abigail and Serena."

Amanda stood shocked as Liz strode confidently away leaving a gaping Amanda in her wake. How had does she know? The only person she had told about her crush (ok, so more like she had fallen in love with the woman) on Casey was Olivia and she was positive that Olivia hadn't told any one.

Amanda jumped as the door behind her was pushed closed only to be ripped back open by a shocked blonde. The slim woman stood in the door way her expression unreadable even as she spoke, "How-how long have you been standing there Rollins?"

"Long enough... Your god mother is brilliant. Never knew that a woman who had been divorced three times could be so apt at seeing the underling feelings between people."

"I'm guessing that you heard me sing earlier then... Don't tell Liv... She doesn't know yet and I really want to be the one to tell her..."

"Alex you should know that she was planning on asking you once you got back from the trial. She was gonna tell you how she felt today."

"What? There is no way she was planning on telling me today."

"Cabot why else would Olivia come pick you up and invite you to dinner? Why did she jump in front of those bullets for you? Why not just I don't know text you and ask you to come over?"

"She jumped in front of those bullets out of guilt for the years that I spent in wit sec because she couldn't protect me from organized crime. She did it because she stood at my mothers funeral while I was stuck in Wisconsin. She did it because she feels guilty about standing next to my mother at my funeral knowing that I was alive, that she carried my casket next to Fin, Munch, Daniels, and Cragen knowing that it was empty. No matter how many times I tell her it isn't her fault she can't help but feel it. That is why she jumped in front of that gun, so that this time I wouldn't be the one in Wisconsin. And I'll have you know before her partner left and I went to Africa she picked me up from the courthouse all the time. We are best friends."

"I know you're best friends, I also know that you two have been doing this dance since you met. Let me guess instant attraction that turned into love once you became friends."

"Yes, that is pretty much what happened. Only I didn't realize my feelings until I was a few thousand miles away. Plus when I got back and I ran to another continent because they didn't go away once I was closer to her, they got stronger."

"You sound like you are in way over your head. I can't believe you went to Africa to try to escape your feelings for a woman who told me she has been head over heels for you since you learned to put the victim in front of your win loss ratio. Jesus no wonder Elizabeth wanted me to act before Casey and I ended up like y'all. Umm, while I'm thinking about it what happened with Abbie and Serena?"

Alex let out a small chuckle, oh the great Abbie-Serena scandal... "Well Abbie and Rena had been attracted to each other since they met. Abbie was half way through the women in the DA's office and she had finished the men and Rena was looking for a long term committed relationship. So for the longest time they ignored it until one day they got into this huge fight. It was long before you or Liv's former replacement came around and before Liz became a judge. Petrovsky and Liz where having dinner in Elizabeths's office when all of the sudden they heard Rena and Abbie fighting about one of Rena's old cases. So the snoops got up and pressed their ears to the wall. After a few minutes of shouting Rena got slammed up against the wall, Lena was about to go rip them a new one when they started hearing moaning. Well being the brilliant women they are they got the picture and left before they could hear anymore. Anyway they have been happily together ever since though I don't think neither Liz nor Lena are ever going to let it go that they engaged in such inappropriate work behavior within earshot of a judge and Abbie's boss."

"Wow... Talk about putting it out there. Please tell me that was a really terrible rumor that they started after they walked in on them once!"

"No can do. I know for a fact that they aren't lying. I walked in on them that day and as I rushed out I ran smack dab into them as the left Liz's office. Either way I'm pretty sure that they haven't done anything like that in the office since then. Lena, Liz, and I won our respective bets on the matter though. I think that the DA's office had about six thousand dollars in bets about the whole 'will they-won't they' thing and the judges had like ten thousand."

"Dang, y'all Yankees love to bet. How many thought will?"

"Funnily enough just Liz, Petrovsky, and I. Liz and I made out with about three thousand after I showed the picture around, while Lena made off with a few dozen judges money. I could hear them complaining about the fact that she never lost at anything including the poker game for months. I'm pretty sure the majority of them are still pissed that she took like two hundred or more from each of them."

They shared on last laugh before Alex went back into the room, the door closing soundly behind her. The day went on things changed for the rest of the world but for Alex it stood still; she watched as they changed the dressings on the twelve holes, six on Olivia's front, six on her front, as they washed her body down and rearranged the hospital gown on her body. Abbie, Rena, Elizabeth, Lena, and the Stablers (not including Elliot) all stopped by throughout the day each coming for a different reasons. The Stabler children to make sure the woman that had been a fixture through most of their lives was ok. Kathy so that she could see the woman who had saved her and her youngest son's lives. Abbie to make sure Olivia wasn't going to die on her and leave her missing a best friend. Serena to make sure Alex was doing alright. Liz and Petrovsky to force Alex to eat "so that you wont be sick when Olivia wakes up" is what they said to her as they practically shoveled food into her, bickering all the while like an old married couple over wether or not the jury would believe Travis's psych defense, Liz saying they might and Petrovsky telling her that Abigail and Serena would do just fine getting the jury to believe that it was a piece of crap.

Alex just couldn't help it when "Moms are you done arguing over Abbie and sissy's competence? Cause if you are maybe you should leave so that you can what mommies do when their alone at night," slipped out.

They turned from their bickering to give her matching stares of disbelief. Petrovsky was the first to recover shooting "Hmm... Maybe be she's right, honey, maybe we do need some adult time. Arguing over Serena's competence is almost a start to some really, really good alone time."

"Lena I cannot believe you're going along with Alexandra's insinuations! You are horrible, just horrible... Though I do like the idea of doing something along the lines of the second part. Honestly though the thought of us having Alex and Serena both as children is terrifying, two type A stubborn as all hell children is enough to make me thankful I don't have any."

Alex spewed the water she had been drinking all over the place as Elizabeth said that she liked the idea of getting it on with Petrovsky. The pair let out a laugh as they took in Alex's face and proceeded to kiss each other. Alexandra sat there with a look of shock on her face long after they broke apart from the kiss arms still wrapped around each other.

"What the hell?! People who kiss just to get back at someone for teasing do NOT kiss like that. EVER!"

"Who ever said we were kissing just to get back at you. You should know better than to assume wether or not people are just friends or do I need to remind you of Lisa?"

"Oh no Elizabeth I think we have made the woman with a way to say everything speechless. You know maybe we should leave her alone so that she can wrap her mind around this and get on with her suggestion." Alex felt so stupid for not believing her own thoughts about how close the two of them were.

"Woah... that is kinda crazy... You really really hid it well. Everyone knows about how Liv and I feel about each other, except of course us and I know for a fact that a the entire 1-6 and DA's office knows about Rollins and Casey, so how did you manage to keep it a secret? And Liz why are you meddling with Rollins and Casey? I had a twenty that Casey would buck up first."

"Alexandra, Elizabeth and I can keep our relationship and attraction a secret because we know how not to look like love sick puppies or like we need to get off every time we look at each other unlike you, Olivia, Serena, Abigail, Amanda, or Casey. Also we realized it and confronted it rather than running from it like some people in this room."

Alex felt the jab as intended. "How long? How did you know? When did you know? Why didn't you tell me?"

This time Liz was the one to respond, "About four months. I knew one night when we were playing a game of scrabble in my living room, looking nothing the two judges you see every day, Lena was losing and pouting something fierce when I noticed how horrible I felt because I was the cause. Then it all just sorta clicked and I realized I had fallen in love with my best friend. We didn't tell you because we haven't told anyone yet and we were hoping not to have to explain it to you before you and detective oblivious here were together."

"Well at least the family with disinherit us together."

Alexandra let out a sigh, who would have guessed that the person who had inherited the Cabot fortune and her god mother would be both end up hopelessly in love with women? More importantly what were the cousins going to say when they found out? She didn't really care but she really didn't want to drag Olivia through that. There really wasn't a way to be with her and not go though it. Well maybe if Olivia felt what everyone thought she did it wouldn't be so bad, it would even be for the best.

Days passed and Alex stayed in the hospital, Elizabeth and Lena dropped by everyday, and Olivia stayed in a medical coma. Each night Alex was haunted by the same nightmare. She would be back on the court house steps seeing herself, Casey, and Olivia walked down the steps surrounded by press. She would hear Olivia yell gun, the sound of the gun going off, once, twice, six times, the clicking of cameras. She would have to stand far away watching as herself, Melinda, and Casey pressing on the wounds trying invasion to staunch the bleeding, as the lawyers shucked off their wool jackets trying desperately to keep the pressure on the wounds. She never saw Rollins make the flying tackle that the papers and news had taken pictures of, filmed for the rest of the country's entertainment, and shown every hour for the entire day.

They filmed the entire thing from before the first shots were fired till Travis was led to police car and Olivia was loaded into the ambulance taking Melinda with. Violent images were splattered across the news stand each showing a slightly different angel of the exact same thing. Days later the courthouse showed the sign of a tragedy, a memorial to honor the brave detective that was still in a coma at mercy general, her name never released. Then the 1-6 joined together on the white marble steps to scrub away the large stain. Each day the papers showed pictures of this, the news filmed it, an entire country waited for news of the detectives health. Things like SVU Captain saves EADA Alexandra Cabot from an angry father, Former witness protection member Alexandra Cabot: her magnetism for trouble puts an NYPD captain in the hospital, US attorney Abigail Carmichael returns to the DA's office to prosecute the man that nearly killed her former coworker, Serena Sutherland who was outed as gay has been put on the case as second chair to Carmichael, and a mystery woman has been at the Captains side since the incident.

One week before Olivia had been rushed into surgery and put into a coma, the day had now come for her to be taken out. It was a tense day for everyone and Alex was supposed to take the stand that morning so that the proceedings could continue under the watchful eye of judge Jamie Ross. Alex looked flighty and anxious while she sat outside the court room waiting to step on to the stand. She knew that the nerves and jitters weren't from the fact that she was going to be sworn in in just a few moments time, they were from the fact that she might not be there when Olivia woke up.

As the bailiff called her to the stand and she placed her left hand on the bible, raising her right just like the last time she felt an uneasiness settle over her. To her it would always feel odd to be on this side of the bars that enclosed the witness stand, always feel wrong to be questioned by her colleagues, friends, and enemy's. She wondered how Olivia did it time and time again, how she sat and allowed her brain to be picked in the middle of a room with her integrity and capabilities being questioned at every turn. She answered question after question from the defense once Abbie and Rena had finished with their first round (Alex might not be privy to the knowledge of how their questioning would go she did know that Abbie wasn't done). As Abbie stood to ask for a redirect she saw Munch step out of the room from the corner of her eye.

Olivia was not alone at the hospital like Alex thought, no Rollins was there on her day off while Munch did court duty. It was Amanda's job to call munch at the first sign of stirring from the brunette on the bed seeing as her partner had volunteered her for it. They didn't let Alex in on their plan at Amanda's urging, she didn't want Alex to think that she was wasting her first day off in a month to just for her sake. As Olivia started to stir, moaning something that sounded a whole lot like Alex, Amanda took out her phone and called Munch.

At the courthouse Munch was in a very delicate situation, he needed to get Alex off the stand with without killing her credibility. He decided that he would put Wong's presence to good use seeing as the doc had said that it might help both Alex and Olivia recover just a little bit from the emotional trauma of the shooting if Alex was there when she woke up. So with that in mind he walked back into the crowded room to the front of the galley just behind Serena who was sitting at the table watching her girlfriend with an almost predatory stare. Sitting down he leaned over the railing and started to whisper the situation to Serena when Judge Ross interrupted, "Det. Munch do you have something you wish to share with the court?"

"Why yes your Honor I do. Miss Cabot is needed at Mercy hospital immediately."

"And why, do pray tell, is she needed at Mercy right now?"

"She is needed because Captain Benson is waking from her coma and Dr. Wong believes that it could shorten the time needed for each of them to recover psychologically from the incident. As you know Miss Cabot hasn't yet been brought back to the DA's office due to potential problems with recovering from the shooting. Also Captain Benson was shot twice shielding her before fire was turned onto her so knowledge that Miss Cabot is physically ok could help reassure her that she did her job."

Alex looked panicked at the mere thought of not being there when Olivia woke up. She glanced nervously at Rena trying to tell her to please please call a recess so she could get the heck out of there. Abbie looked like she was torn between asking for court to just be let out early and asking for Alex's testimony to be delayed until the next day, a quick glance to Rena gave her all the information she needed.

"Your honor I ask that the proceedings be postponed until tomorrow morning. I need to go see if and when the victim will be ready to testify and Miss Cabot obviously should be there with me as well as Miss Sutherland."

Langland looked as though he had just been hit upside the head with a brick, "Your honor, surely the prosecution can can wait to interview Det. Benson."

"Obviously they cannot, counselor. Miss Cabot you may leave the stand. All rise, court dismissed until ten AM tomorrow." at the sound of the gavels bang on the wood circle was like a starter pistol for half the court. Alex dashed toward the doors with Munch, Abbie, and Serena following close behind. Alex had no idea how she got to the hospital and into Olivia's room, she did however know that here were three lawyers, two judges, five cops, and a medical examiner waiting in a room down the hall for her to come down and tell em that their friend was doing alright. Alex was really amazed at the fact that homicide was covering for the 1-6, but then again tomorrow was a day that New York would never forget so they were probably feeling the blue.

Alex was startled when she felt a gentle squeeze to the hand she was grasping. Her head which had, unbeknownst to her, dropped to the side suddenly shot up to look at Olivia. The blue eyes that had turned stormy grey after the shooting instantly grew lighter, starting to turn back to there original icy blue, as she took in the site of Olivia's eyes fluttering softly just as she had remembered they would. The last time Olivia had been put on sedatives Alex had stayed over playing the role of the supporting friend and when Liv was trying to wake up her eye lids would jump and twitch just as they were now. She started whispering, pleading for Liv to open her eyes. It looked as though there was an internal struggle, like she was fighting herself for control of her eyelids so that she could do as the pretty voice asked.

Finally two brown orbs were revealed to Alex causing a small noise of joy to slip from the elated blonde. Olivia gave her one of her signature half smiles and Alex's heart jumped.

"Hey, Lex. Ugh my head feels like its filled with rocks. How long have I been out?"

"Hey, Liv, the land of the living has missed you for the last week. Do you remember what happened?"

"Kinda. I remember getting shot, the ride here, you ruining that nice cream blazer you were wearing, and Melinda telling you and Casey what to do. Lots of bright flashing lights."

"Do you remember what I whispered in you're ear?"

A faint blush crept over Olivia's features giving her paled olive skin a light tint the memory of Alex's breath on her ear as she asked her never to leave washed over her. After a small pause she responded "... I won't ever leave you Alex."

"I never got to finish my sentence. Don't ever leave me cause I can't live without my true love."

"... I... I... I can't believe this" Olivia looked so shocked that Alex thought something bad was going to happen when," Oh, Alex, I love you too. So much. I would ask you to come kiss me but I'm pretty sure I have horrible morning breath."

"You know normally that wouldn't bother me but you've been out for a little to long but I hope you know that there will be some kissing after you brush your teeth." Olivia let out a giggle and winced from the pain tightening the muscles had caused, knowing that Alex was very serious.

"Oh, I don't doubt it counselor. You know as much as I like talking to you, I prefer not being watched like hawk by four women who , if you combine each of their times, have been trying to get us together for a decade."

Alex turned to face the door only to see Abbie, Serena, Casey, and Amanda all with half their faces pressed to the glass craning for a look. She just let out a laugh and decided to just let it go and let them in.

The end.

* * *

Authors note- well here it is I've been watching the show for a long while and reading fanfics for about three years so I figured I should publish. Hope you liked it. And btw I know that the whole Donnelly/Petrovsky thing would never happen (one of them would kill the other within a few days)but my friend dared me to put it in so there it is.


End file.
